Jorgen Von Strangle vs The Rancor
Jorgen Von Strangle of Fairly Oddparents (nominated by EPKingMaster) takes on The Rancor of Star Wars (nominated by Timefreezer4)! The Interlude It was just a day. Just another day. Just another hot and slimy day for the former princess of Alderaan, Leia. Sat before the fat blob known as Jabba the Hutt, Leia had watched helplessly as countless people, either innocent or suspicious, were brought before the gluttonous crime lord. They all met the same fate: Death at the hands of the monster known as, The Rancor. Leia sighed as the bounty hunter, Boba Fett, dragged in yet another victim with a bag over their head. "Here's another for you, Jabba. When's the payment?" Boba questioned right away. C-3PO, the crime lord's captured translator, translated over to Jabba, who spoke in his native tongue; C-3PO turned to face the bounty hunter. "Payment will be here by tomorrow dawn, this is what the great Jabba the Hutt has promised." Boba nodded, then pushed the captive forward and took off the bag. "Ah! Where the heck am I?!" Jorgen Von Strangle asked aloud and the people inside the Hutt's palace laughed at his turmoil. Jabba spoke again and C-3PO translated. "You are at the mercy of the Jabba the Hutt, the lord of the sands of Tatooine." "The what?" Jorgen asked, but Jabba's patience grew thin and he pulled the lever, activating the trap door beneath Jorgen and causing him to fall into the pit of The Rancor. Leia looked down in exasperation and sighed, her eyes closed as she awaited the screams of agony that would come soon. Jorgen brushed sand off his clothing and waved a fist irritably at Jabba. Loud footsteps could be heard from the darkness in the pit, and slowly, but surely, Jabba's pet abomination stepped into the light in all of it's unholy glory. Jorgen turned around and came face to face with the monster. "Oh okay, bring it ugly!" The Melee THIS OUGHTA BE A MATCH TO REMEMBER... FIGHT! (60 seconds) The Rancor howled, then attempted to squash Jorgen, who jumped away; he reached behind his back and pulled out a sizeable wand with a star on top. It extended to the size of a staff and he rushed at the pit monster. The Rancor lashed out at Jorgen with a punch, but the fairy ran up the monster's arm and whacked it on the head with his wand staff. He slid down The Rancor back, kicking the monster in the back of it's legs, then wished himself a ray gun. "To the dark with you!" Jorgen's ray gun emitted a powerful blast, but The Rancor was unaffected. (54 seconds) It roared at Jorgen, then brought both of it's fists up and pounded on the ground. Jorgen dove out of the way in time, then hurled his wand like a spear at The Rancor's head. It hit him square in between it's alien eyes and returned to Jorgen's hands, where it was tossed again, this time, given a boost by his ray gun. The Rancor was hit in the neck by the wand staff, the star at the end almost lodged in it's throat. While it gagged, Jorgen jumped up and punched the monster across it's face, retrieving his staff on the way down and smacking it in The Rancor's crotch. The Rancor did not take that lightly, yelling in rage and charging forward like an angered bull. Jorgen dodged and ducked as the pit monster rammed into the walls of the pit, always missing until it finally knocked itself silly from the amount of collisions. The crowd above stared in awe as the captive started to gain ground against Jabba's seemingly unstoppable pet. (39 seconds) "You're not too right in the noggin', are ya?" Jorgen taunted, then wished himself a sword in favour of his ray gun. Instead of a steel sword, his wish was granted in the form of a blue lightsaber. "Huh, neat." Jorgen nodded in approval, then shouted in a battle cry as he ran at The Rancor, weapon in the air. But, The Rancor, despite being dazed, primally charged at Jorgen in a confused rage; Jorgen's eyes widened and he barely managed to leap to the side to evade as The Rancor bashed itself yet again into another pit wall. Jorgen hopped on The Rancor's back and activated his lightsaber. Having a felt on it's back, The Rancor peeked behind it and saw the intruder; it howled and tried to remove Jorgen, spinning around and swinging it's punches while Jorgen stumbled and staggered, but held on. (29 seconds) Before he jumped off to escape, Jorgen stabbed The Rancor three times in the back, making it roar furiously. It turned around with a slash, but Jorgen leaned back to dodge, then hopped up and brought his lightsaber up. The Rancor yelled and it was loud and powerful enough to send Jorgen flying back into a wall. He fell to the sand, his lightsaber vanished in a puff of smoke, as The Rancor stomped forward with irritated growls. Jorgen looked up and the foot of The Rancor completely shadowed him. He brought out his staff and stabbed the star into the foot; The Ranocr held it's foot and hopped around like a man stepping on a LEGO. Rolling up to recover and then to wish himself a cartoonishly-large hammer, Jorgen rushed at The Rancor and whacked it at the top of it's head. The Rancor wasn't amused, stomping and punching on the ground as Jorgen expertly dodged and attacked back with more hammer strikes. (15 seconds) Jorgen flung his hammer, but The Rancor smacked it aside then backhanded the fairy away. Jorgen shook his head, then pulled out his wand staff and aimed the star at The Rancor. "Time for the ultimate wish!" However, as he began to speak the words "I wish for this monster to be gone", a hook came from above and snatched the wand staff away. Jorgen gazed up and found Boba Fett snapping his wand in two. "Hey, what was that for?!" He pumped a fist in outrage. "My employer says your little wishing shenanigans is cheating. Good luck, scum." Boba answered back. (8 seconds) Jorgen was mad, but the roar of The Rancor grabbed his attention. With no other option, Jorgen charged and vaulted into the air, his fists nocked back for a solid knuckle sandwich.. As he did, The Rancor's mouth slowly opened, it leaned forward and time seemed to slow down to a crawl. (4 seconds) "Oh, son of a-" 'CHOMP' 'MUNCHING' 'MUNCHING' 'GULP' 'BURP' KO!!! The Aftermath The Rancor belched and the spectators above all cheered. All except for Leia, who had seen the outcome from the start. Yes, Jorgen had put up a fight. But just like many others, he was consumed, just another lunch for the crime lord's monster. "If it helps, Luke has messaged me. He will be here within a few days." C-3PO leaned down and whispered in her ear, giving her hope that she'll escape this rotting stink pile of a palace. But until he arrives, hopefully with help, she'll have to ensure another few days under these terrible conditions. The Result This melee's winner is... The Rancor! The Voting Jorgen Von Strangle: 7 Votes The Rancor: 9 Votes Method of Victory: KO: 0 Votes DEATH: 9 Votes The Rancor advances to Round Two! Category:TheOneLegend Category:What-If? One Minute Melees Category:Non-Human vs Non Human themed One Minute Melees Category:West only themed One Minute Melees Category:Good vs Neutral themed One Minute Melees Category:The 11th Hour Tournament Category:Completed What-If? One Minute Melees